DROPOUT BLACKOUT? Alaska Power Outage Caused By Dumb Electricians

AEA Investigation Reveals Power Company Staffed By High School Dropouts

Long History Of Tainted Applications

Entire State Now At Risk?

() Disassociated Press

by B. Elwin Sherman -- Tundra Utilities Comptroller

JUNEAU, AK -- (DP) Acting on an anonymous tip after a recent electrical power blackout in the Alaskan capital, officials at the Alaska Energy Authority have made a startling discovery:

The Land of the Midnight Sun may be haywired.

Sources at the AEA confirmed finding "an apparent long history" of entry-level electrician jobs at the Alaska Electric Light and Power Company being passed from generation to generation, regardless of an applicant's qualifications.

This has resulted in a widespread installation of faulty and/or substandard wiring panels and outlets in most Juneau homes and businesses.  A spokesman for AEA's Executive Director Steven H. Haagenson confirmed the worst:

"If other Alaskan utility companies have engaged in this practice, we could be facing a critical, statewide short circuit because of nepotism," said Director Haagenson's twin brother, Harland Haagenson, speaking from the plush, recently re-carpeted AEA office of First Assistant Chief Executive Director.

Officials at the AEL&PC could not be reached for comment.  An answering machine message did confirm, however, that all AEL&PC employees were attending the same family reunion in Anchorage.

In a related story:  Levi Johnston, the possible future son-in-law of State Governor Sarah Palin and current high school dropout, recently quit his job as an apprentice electrician after replacing two blown fuses with pennies at the Alaska State Capitol building, plunging the state's legislators into darkness.

At the time, Johnston did not associate the blackout with his actions because, he said:  "It's dark up here for six months of the year, anyway.  Who could tell?"

Governor Palin supported her daughter's baby's father's ex-electrician's apprentice's conclusion:  "That darned boy just lights up a room and leaves."

Stay tuned.

 B. Elwin Sherman & Sarah Palin at the 2008 Juneau Power Brokers' Convention