MACHO MAN WHO WON'T WATCH SUPER BOWL FOUND IN NORTHEAST
Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 1:53PM 
Backwoods Baker Claims He "Still Has A Pair"
Prefers Cooking Show To Gridiron Classic
Mixing Bowl, Not Super Bowl
() Disassociated Press
by B. Elwin Sherman -- Culinary Sports Magazine
SUGAR HILL, NH -- (DP) "Eat my cake," says New Hampshire native "Big Batter" Bill Scrotec, when this reporter asks him why he may be the only man in America who won't be watching Super Bowl 43.
"I don't go in for it," adds Bill. "You want a REAL man's way to spend Super Sunday? Try whipping up a Viking Wedding cake. Now we're talking contact sports."
Big Batter admits to being a big fan of The Ace Of Cakes, the popular Food Network TV show hosted by Duff Goldman. "When it comes to calling critical plays, Chef Duff has no rival," says Scrotec. "Bakes his cakes with drill saws and blowtorches. That's flour power only a real man can love."
On the show, Chef Goldman does present with a machismo image one wouldn't usually expect from a cake designer: Skinned head, chin puff beard, leather apron, and when he's not designing and baking cakes, he's playing bass in an indie instrumental band.
"He's one ballsy baking dude," says Big Batter. "And, who needs big balls when you've got big bowls? I'd like to see the Steelers defensive line out-stack his Hawaii Volcano Cake. I mean, the thing actually smokes!"
So, don't bother looking for Big Batter Bill Scrotec in front of the TV set on Super Sunday. This bad bowl boy is no couch potato.
"I'll be setting-up a seven-layer rum & carrot cake version of the REAL Colosseum," says Bill. "Mine will have buttercream Christians & lions florets, and I've got an idea for some fondant dueling gladiator figures. Now, just try and pit sideline Gatorade up against that."
Big Batter Bill Scrotec has also just published his first country cookbook on his special passion: "BIG BATTER'S CRUMB BUMS -- Rich Man Cakes On Bowery Budgets."
He's dedicated the book to Chef Duff. "The guy's my hero," he says, proudly. "And, don't tell him, but I've got an idea for mixing up a batch of simulated lava for his smoking volcano cake, using my own special spiced candy/Tabasco concoction. There's your he-man super bowl, brother."
Stay tuned.
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Reader Comments (3)
Wow~Thank you! I am a huge fan of Ace of Cakes, and now a huge fan of you too.What a guy, not afraid to admit that Super-Duff beats Superbowl hands down, and your blog takes the cake.
Ace-Lover: Thanks for the comment.
SUPER BOWL? Poobah. Try rugby: no helmets, no pads, no passes, no stopping, no showboating. Just hit, crunch, tackle, carry, run. Real man frosting ....
All best, El
Hi!
We're friends on Facebook and I thought I'd post a note to let you know I really love your site. Funny and thought provoking. And when humor actually makes you think these days, that's a plus!!! Bravo!!