JUDGE JUDY WILL PRESIDE OVER HISTORIC BUSH-CHENEY LARGE CLAIMS COURT TRIAL

Sneak Photo Preview!

Fiery TV JudgeTo Hear Landmark Suit

"Hell On Heels" The REAL 'Decider'

"I'm SPEAKING!!!"

() Disassociated Press

by B. Elwin Sherman -- Court TV Reporter

LOS ANGELES, CA -- (DP) A spokesman for the popular long-running Court TV program Judge Judy has confirmed that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney will "finally get their day in court."

In a surprise programming announcement from CTV, the network reported that the soon-to-be former U.S. President & Vice-President will appear as co-defendants in an upcoming episode of Judge Judy. It was taped last summer at an undisclosed location.

"Yes, at the time, we couldn't believe it either," said Timothy Regler, the show's Executive Producer, "but we knew that Dick Cheney had always been a big fan of the show. His people contacted us to set it up."

Presented on the docket as Court Case #2009-XO, this historic episode is named: "One In The Bush Is Worth Two In The Bush." It will air February 1st, immediately following the Super Bowl.

Working closely with the office of California's Attorney General Edmund G. Brown, Jr., lawyers from both parties were able to broker special dispensations in behind-the-scenes negotiations. This resulted in a lifting of the standard $5,000 award limit, and made Judge Judy's ruling the final & absolute decision in a case that's rumored to see staggering dollar amounts.

Any award monies, if the plaintiff prevails, will come from a special fund reserved for this purpose.  And, like the other Wall Street bailouts recently approved by Congress, no one has a clue where the money will come from or how it will be dispersed.

The special class-action suit was filed by "every living thinking thing that walks or crawls" in the United States.

However, in a special interview granted to humoristonloan.com, this writer learned that due to the inordinate number of complainants, (and because no single soul could've possibly represented all the injured parties) the Unknown Comic agreed to come out of retirement for a special appearance and stand in as Plaintiff-In-Chief on behalf of all of us.

Mr. Regler added: "I don't want to give the ending away, but I think the American people will be pleased with the result."

Judy Sheindlin is well-versed in controversy and high-profile cases with colorful litigants. "There'll be plenty of fireworks," said Regler. "When Dick Cheney tried to bully her with his 'Quail Hunt Defense,' she mopped the floor with him. It's classic Judy."

She is best-known for her scathing one-liners leveled at what appears to be no shortage of hapless candidates willing to submit to her no-holds-barred upbraidings.

We're told that at one point in the show, Judy quickly silenced one of the co-defendant's protests with: "Were you born stupid or did you go to idiot school?" and injected her classic cut-off line: "I'm SPEAKING!"

Then, with the former President squirming and the Vice-President seething, she added: "Between the two of you smartypants, I doubt if I could put together a three-digit IQ.  Do you have your LISTENING EARS ON?"

Near the end, in addition to taking exception to the monetary damages, both defendants object to also being sued for pain & suffering, and Judge Judy fires back: "Yours or ours?"

Prepare yourselves for a display of American justice dispensed the way it should be: savvy, swift and with "Hell on heels."

It just might restore your faith in the blindfolded lady with the scales, as you watch the surprise outcome through what Judy calls "your seeing eyes."

Stay tuned, and hold onto your bailing-out tins.