BLAGOJEVICH: "NO HOOKER? NO HOOK."

Illinois Governor Takes Moral High Ground

Corruption Without Sex?

Former Prostitute Testifies to "Blago's Snub"

() Disassociated Press

by B. Elwin Sherman -- Geschlechtstricks Magazine

SPRINGFIELD, IL  -- (DP) When asked by this writer about emerging reports that sexual favors & other extramarital indiscretions had no bearing on the recent Federal corruption charges leveled against him, Governor Rod Blagojevich quipped: "No hooker?  No hook.  I know it's hard to believe, but for me it's the boodle, not the booty.  Now, why don't you go (expletive) your (expletive) with a ten-foot (expletive) paper punch, sideways."

The governor's wife, Patricia, also in attendance, quickly confirmed her beleaguered husband's assertion:

"Listen mother (expletive), when he needs his (expletive) knob (expletive), he knows where I am.  No (expletive) (name deleted) (expletive) is ever going to (expletive) his (expletive) like I do, and he knows it.  (Expletive) any mother (expletive) who (expletive) that (expletive) (place deleted)."

In a related story, an unnamed self-admitted former prostitute who requested anonymity here "because I'm thinking of tricking again," also told this writer of the Governor's uncanny ability to eschew any sexual come-on:

"I tried everything I knew, and I'm telling you, the guy's a rock," she said.  "Hell, I told him I'd do him for free after that Daily Show interview.  He was so wired-up afterwards.  But, he just snapped at me, told me that he already gets it for free, and called me an (expletive) little (expletive) (technique deleted)."

She added:  "One time, he even said that I should pay HIM, not for sex, but for NOT having sex with him, and the more I didn't have sex with him, the more I should pay!  Can you imagine that?" 

Recent history does show that it IS rare for Federal authorities to bring corruption charges against any politician without specifications of illicit and often predatory sexual acts.

U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald said today: "It appears that the governor can keep everything in his pants except his wallet."

He added an unfiltered paraphrase from the Rachel Maddow Show: "And, he's also fucking batshit crazy.  Even Honest Abe would roll over in his grave to say so." (expletive included, and it's about time).

Stay tuned.