IF ELECTED, MCCAIN WILL REVEAL SECRET OF HOW TO GET ELECTED

Senator Promises Victory If Victorious

() Disassociated Press

by B. Elwin Sherman -- Campaign Bus Liaison

ALBUQUERQUE, NM -- (DP)  Lately, the hardest act for John McCain to follow is … well ... John McCain. Adding to a list of increasingly baffling public statements, the Republican presidential candidate today told a small but enthusiastic town hall crowd: "Believe me, my friends, I've known what I knew since I've known it."

This prompted a woman in the front row to stand and ask: "Senator, you lost your bid for the presidency in 2000. In the short time we have left before this election, just what is your strategy for winning?"

Wrestling the microphone away from her, McCain gritted, flared and flushed his respective teeth, nostrils and face, then snapped: “Ma'am, I'm a winner. I know all about winning. I’ve seen winners. I’ve known winners. If I win, I promise to be a winner. I'm ... my friends ... I'm---"

As he struggled to finish, Governor Sarah Palin stepped up quickly to bail out her flustered running mate. Wrestling the microphone away from him, she said: “Well, gosh darn it, John, I don’t want to toot your own horn, but Joe The Plumber and I agree that nothing could be simpler from the truth.  How about THAT, America?"

 Stay tuned.

Comments

[Zwigli]

Elwin:

Does McCain ever think about anything he DOES think about? I'm worried.

Z.