OLDER WHITE WOMAN BAFFLES OBAMA AT NEW HAMPSHIRE RALLY

Senator Speechless After 'Funeral Bag Lady' Calls McCain "A Panamanian"

() Disassociated Press

by B. Elwin Sherman -- The Scallion Daybook

Littleton, NH -- (DP) When 61-year old Mamie Kornkrib stretched out her hand and spoke to Senator Barack Obama at a rally here today, he found himself uncharacteristically caught unawares and stumbling over his words.

"I can't trust McCain," said Ms. Kornkrib. "I ... I have heard about him, and he's not ... he's not ... well, I heard that he's a Panamanian."

Her remark was similar to one made at a recent John McCain rally, where a woman told McCain she couldn't trust Obama because "he's an Arab."

With his usually steadfast composure shaken, Senator Obama responded: "No ... no ma'am. He's a decent, family-man citizen, whose Panama Canal Zonian birthright is a Constitutionally-protected ... well ... look ... here's the thing ...."

Senator Obama then quickly regained his focus, and launched into a long soliloquy on the Torrijos-Carter Treaties, the Fourteenth Amendment, and the history of U.S. Naval Aviation.

In late-breaking news, this reporter has learned that Ms. Kornkrib and the woman who challenged Obama's heritage at the McCain rally are one and the same. This was confirmed by her sister, Catherine Kornkrib-Wallenstein:

"Mamie is the equivalent of what you might call a 'funeral bag lady.' You know -- the unknown mourner who shows up at everyone's funeral? That's her with politics. She's always on a bus going somewhere. She just likes talking to candidates," said Mrs. Kornkrib-Wallenstein.

Meanwhile, the Nader/Gonzalez campaign has extended an open invitation to Ms. Kornkrib. "She's welcome to attend our rallies anytime," said a campaign spokesman. "Wherever she goes, headlines follow, and we sure could use some of those."

Stay tuned.

Comments

[fact checker]

Poor Mamie, I'm pretty sure she meant to say Pomeranian